"So much of healing, growth, and evolution can only happen in community with others present to witness us in our wound, our shame, our wholeness (cracks and all), and in our gifts. The power of groups provides the space and place for this to occur in a safe, sacred, intimate way."
The Men's Fire: A Men's Group about Sex, Sovereignty, The Masculine, Wound, and Truth Telling.
Hello Men, and Women who love Men,
There are so many conversations in the world of Men and relationship that are not happening that I believe need to happen.
It’s time for the honest, difficult conversations among men. It’s time for us to show up in vulnerable, powerful, intelligent ways:
• How do we genuinely love ourselves and each other, as men?
• How do we cultivate fierce, sustainable intimacy in our lives?
• What are we doing in our Sex - is wound driving our desire?
• How do we feel impact in our relationships without moving into posturing or collapse?
• What basic elements create true meaning in our lives?
These conversations are dangerously absent in our culture. We no longer have the luxury of waiting to engage in them.
These Men's Group will be held in the Kiva (a traditional Pueblo Indian structure dug into the earth with a fire ring in the center) under the stars and with the elements. We will also have the opportunity to be in and on the land as we venture into the green space and fields just beyond our meeting place.
This group is for beginners and advanced participants alike. The content of this group is edgy by design, as most of what I am wanting us to address doesn't have a venue that is out in the open. Given that there aren't many vehicles for dialogue around sex, sovereignty, shadow, and wound, there is an ongoing experimental aspect to this group where we will be trying out different forms, new ideas, and collaboratively shaped practices. I am wanting men to draw on all of their previous experience in life, relationships, trainings, traumas, lessons learned, lessons unlearned, struggles, and more to both participate and offer their gifts, as well as providing the valuable feedback and insight that each of you--and only you--can provide given your unique composition and place in this world as a Man.
We will focus on five primary topics all under the umbrella of Emotional Intelligence (the Art of Being Relational with the World):
1. The Masculine.
2. Sex, Sexuality, & Intimacy.
All of this will be in the practice of Truth Telling.
In this 8-session group, we will explore the above and the related terrain of:
•What masculine energy is, and how men embody the masculine while working to discern between the innate masculine (if there is one) and the inherited cultural version of the masculine, as well as how the more unconscious influences (upbringing, culture, gender norms) show up in your life and in your relationships in ways that are destructive and how to do something different.
•An honest and open exploration of sex and sexuality—both with one’s self and with sexual partners—while discussing what the terrain of sex looks and feels like for each man, while asking what intimacy is, both in the bedroom and out of the bedroom, and exploring sexual sovereignty as both a concept and a practice.
•Truth telling in both the sense of telling the truth—our own truths about our experiences, feelings, shame, shadow, joy—as well as cultivating a culture of accountability where group members feel safe to call out—and be called out—by and for each other.
My hope is to foster connection--and community--around these oft-distorted and charged topics to, in turn, allow for a more easeful, fluid, ongoing, conversation to improve men’s self-image, their capacity for intimacy and honesty with themselves, and in all their relationships.
I've added a few things of late with the central one being "The Stretch:" where, each week, every man will present his 'stretch' for the week. What that means is something that he wants to do, will be a stretch outside of his comfort zone, and will help him be in different relationship with his patterns of procrastination and contraction while also helping to keep him more accountable to himself and to the group.
Also, I would so appreciate it if you could send this message out to any men that you think may be interested and can contribute their unique brilliance to this soulful endeavor.
I want to emphasize that so much of healing, growth, and evolution can only happen in community with others present to witness us in our wound, our shame, our wholeness (cracks and all), and in our gifts. The power of Groups provides the space and place for this to occur in a safe enough, sacred, and intimate way.
I look forward to meeting You and being met by You.
With wild aliveness, deep curiosity, and gratitude,
“There are two questions a man must ask himself: The first is 'Where am I going?' and the second is 'Who will go with me?'
If you ever get these questions in the wrong order you are in trouble.”
― Sam Keen, Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man